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New Year

As we head into the New Year my hope for all of you is that 2013 will be full of abundant joy and many blessings for each one of you. Thank you so much for journeying with me on this blog….and I look forward to connecting with you all through the year!

Help for Parents Grieving the Loss of a Child…

I am the mother of a first grader who bounded down the steps of the school bus on the first day of December and within minutes was killed in a hit and run. The murderers were never found.

 

This was over thirty years ago…but NOT a day goes by that my heart and arms don’t ache to hold him once again.

 

Listening to reports of the recent school shooting tragedy in Sandy Hook, Connecticut my heart feels as if it’s being shoved through a paper shredder over and over. I go about the day misty eyed…

 

…knowing and feeling the gut wrenching, inexplicable physical pain of losing a child.

 

…knowing the journey of grief is long, grueling and never really over.

 

…knowing grief is a very personal journey…there is no right or wrong way to ride this rollercoaster…(unless a coping mechanism becomes unhealthy and inflicts suffering on another).

 

…knowing emotions are unpredictable…the anger, the despair, the fear, the tears for hours on end.

 

And, yet, “my heart in its sorrow rejoices,” recalling the kindnesses, the gentleness and the support of so many…family, friends and strangers reaching out with their reassurance of love and understanding.

 

The world is full of caring, loving people who want very much to help but are often unsure about the best way to show their concern.

 

I remember a few precepts that were and still are especially meaningful and offer them as a guide to those reaching out to grieving parents:

 

1. Please don’t ignore my painful loss. Saying nothing hurts worse than saying the “wrong thing” with sincerity.  Some helpful phrases: “I’m sorry.”  “I don’t know what to say, but I really care.”

 

2. Let me talk about my beloved, if I want to. Let me talk about how he died.  Don’t be afraid to say his name. Share a memory if you want to.

 

3. Sit with me in silence. Sometimes words are absolutely useless. Squeeze my hand, hold my hand, pat my shoulder…give me a hug…cry with me. Look me in the eye…please don’t be afraid of my sorrow, of my tears.

 

4. Please don’t tell me you know how I feel! No, you don’t! We can never know how another feels…but ask me how I feel. And don’t tell me it’s part of God’s plan or that he’s in a better place.

 

5. Certain times of the year will always be hard for me….like all holidays! Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. And most every family milestone tugs at my heart…births, children’s birthday parties, graduations, and weddings.

 

 

It’s true…. love never dies…memories of my child are alive and well in my mind and the hole in my heart will only be completely mended the day I am reunited with my beloved child.

 

But I have been encouraged and sustained by your friendship, your care, your support and help. May you be blessed!

Kate

 

 

 

Resources:

 

http://www.tcf.org.uk/leaflets/lehelpingbp.html

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm

 

http://www.journeyofhearts.org/kirstimd/booklet.htm

 

 

Wonderful song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqwomT5YSiw

 

 

 

 

Key Lime Bread….for tea-time!

Perfect with a cuppa your favorite tea!

 

I wandered around the kitchen with my cuppa tea, opening a cupboard door, staring at the contents inside. I gently pushed it closed. I opened the refrigerator. Examining the shelves, pulling open drawers, searching for what, I wasn’t sure.

I was wishing for a little something “special” to have with my cuppa.

Searching in an old magazine,  a great quick bread recipe and photo grabbed my attention. I made a few changes, mixed, stirred and baked… and voila…the answer to my craving came out of the oven filling the whole kitchen with a delicious aroma.

This key lime bread is sweet and slightly tart, perfect with a nice cup of English Breakfast. Hope you enjoy!

 

Key Lime Bread....for Tea-Time!
 
Delicious slightly tart lime bread that goes well with a cup of your favorite tea!
Author:
Recipe type: Quick Bread
Ingredients
  • ⅔ cup butter at room temperature
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 Tablespoons grated lime peel
  • 3 Tablespoons Key Lime Juice or fresh lime juice
  • 1 Teaspoon vanilla
  • 3 cups flour~all purpose flour works great
  • 3 Teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 Teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1 cup chopped nuts: pecans, walnuts or almonds
  • GLAZE:
  • ⅔ cup confectioners' sugar
  • 2-3 Tablespoons Key Lime Juice or fresh lime juice
Instructions
  1. In a mixing bowl cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and mix well. Add lime peel, lime juice and vanilla and mix until combined.
  2. In another bowl combine the flour, baking powder and salt. Add this to the creamed mixture alternating with the milk. Fold in nuts.
  3. Spoon batter into two greased 9 x 5 x 3 in loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes or until toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to a wire rack.
  4. Combine glaze ingredients and drizzle over warm bread. Cool completely. Enjoy one with tea, freeze one for later!
  5. Happy Tea-Time!

 

Cut it up, make a cuppa, take a break & meditate….

 

My new all time favorite quote…and I made it up myself after a particularly harrowing week….

 

When life hands you a lemon, cut it up, make tea, take a break and meditate!

 

So, you probably guessed that my day/week/month was less than auspicious . I’m sure you’ve had those days, weeks, months….hopefully not years…when “it” goes from bad to worse.

 

When no matter how much or how hard or how long you’ve prayed, “things” just aren’t working out. That proverbial lemon drops from the sky, misses your skull, but lands in YOUR lap …uninvited, unwanted, and uncompromising.

 

 

Now, a whole lemon is only useful for decoration or zesting.


And if not consumed, deterioration ensues.

 

My solution: Cut it up…make a cuppa tea….take a break….and meditate.

 

 

A sliced lemon bursting with tartness suggests possibilities.

 

A problem carved up, divided, chopped and diced reveals solutions.

 

Tea is my respite in life. The ritual of boiling water, placing whole tea leaves in an infuser, steeping and then sipping the brew is my hiatus from chaos. In suspending reality for moments, the impossible is diluted, the possible clarified and I remind myself there are better days ahead! 

 

Have a tea-lightful day….and remember…cut that lemon up, make a cuppa, take a break and meditate!

Kate

I had to share this adorable video…..Maddie Grace Sings Lemon Drop

From Russia with Love

My tea from Russia was almost gone. I decided to crank up the Samovar and make the last of the tea.

Bourbon Balls & Unbelievable Fudge

A delicious last minute, well it does need about 24 hours to blend all the flavors,

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